handcuffs-decima

(no subject)

Hmmm,how to start this out...
Well,it's been awhile.I should hav a pic to post soon as I have found my digital camera again.
Life has been...life.My family has this talent of making me feel worthless which in turn makes me want to run and grab a razor and just hack at my wrist.But I made a promise not to,so I guess I'm going to have to stick to it.I do miss the sight of blood,the feel of a blade against my skin,cuts healing(minus the god-awful itching),and the pearl colored scars of a deep cut.But I've been -clean- per se for a long time,nearly a year now.Maybe I'm better off not as a SI,but damn did it relieve some stress.
Hope everyone's doing good out there too.
~Lauren

FiRST P0ST

Ha, YES. It is I who have claimed the first post (almost).

Anyways. I was on the phone late the other night with Dave (the boyfriend) & we were talking about communication & all the other things I our relationship lacks because I'm messed up, and I lashed out & told him that if he didn't want to see me upset ever again that he wouldn't. But I told him that then he'd have to overlook certain things.... He freaked out, said something mean & I told him to fuck off for the first time & we hung up on each other. And then I checked my voicemail & got a really sweet message that he had left me earlier & I felt bad for hanging up on him, so I called him back and we worked it out. So from now on, if I feel alienated, depressed, etc.; I will let him know. Even if all I do is list all the emotions I'm feeling at that time. What scares me was how close I came to ruining all my careful progess because of some stupid fight. It makes me want to kick my butt. Twice.

But I want to know how everyone else here is doing. Post us a lifeline so I know that everyone's still alive & what's going on in their lives (considering the majority of our current community populace is comprised of self-injurers) & how they're coping.

Yours Truly,
Fluorine Out.